The 30s often come with playful jests of “growing old.” While many dread aging, we unravel some of its bounties.
Dive into today’s post to embrace the positive spins aging can introduce in your life journey.
Positive Aging Insights: 8 Exclusives of Elder Years
1. Transitioning from Anxious or Avoidant to Secure Attachment
Many readers share their concerns about being anxious or avoidant when it comes to attachment styles, finding it challenging to transition. The good news? Time may be all you need for this transformation.
Studies by psychologists like Chopik (2019) show that the tendency towards anxiety in relationships dwindles as one ages, reaching a low during mid-to-late adulthood. This is potentially due to the reduction in cells within the locus coeruleus area of the brain, which lessens anxiety-producing ability. During the same life phase, avoidant tendencies in relationships also decrease to a lifetime low (Chopik et al., 2019).
Thus, both anxiety and avoidance, detrimental factors in relationships, diminish over time, leaning towards a secure attachment style. This gradual shift also betters the quality of our relationships as we age (Van Assche et al., 2013). So, perhaps aging grants us the grace of time for self-improvement.
2. Boost in Emotional Well-being
Youth often brings a roller-coaster of emotions due to frequent interactions with the world and people around us. Maintaining a stable mental and emotional state amidst the highs and lows isn’t an easy feat. However, as we age, our emotional regulation and control improve (Damian et al., 2019), making us less susceptible to emotional turbulence. In later years, negative emotions like sadness, anger, and fear become less pronounced (Stone et al., 2010).
Aging also tends to make us “forgetful” of unpleasant memories. Studies have shown that older individuals tend to selectively recall positive experiences while forgetting the negative ones (Mather et al., 2004). With the realization of time’s limit, we grow to focus on meaningful and emotionally fulfilling experiences, leaving behind the unpleasantries.
3. Diminished Anxiety Over Appearance
Young adulthood often sees many striving to enhance their physical appearance. While there’s nothing wrong with wanting to look good, the contemporary social media era flooded with attractive individuals can lead to feelings of inadequacy.
Thankfully, time also alleviates appearance anxiety. A survey by Gallup-Healthways on over 80,000 participants regarding their contentment with their appearance showed that, overall, more than half of the respondents (60%) felt good about their looks. This satisfaction increased with age (Mccarthy, 2014), possibly as societal expectations and standards of appearance evolve, ushering in newfound confidence. So, as we age, our perspective on appearance becomes more positive, helping to curb the comparison game and nurture self-assurance.
4. Better at Resolving Complex Conflicts Compared to the Youth
Do older individuals lose all professional advantages compared to the youth? Research suggests otherwise. A study recruited 247 participants aged between 25 to 60+ years, asking them to read stories regarding group and interpersonal conflicts, and to predict how these conflicts would unfold. The results showed that, compared to younger and middle-aged individuals, older people were better at employing higher-order reasoning to resolve complex conflicts (Grossmann, 2010). This skill requires a person to view issues from multiple perspectives, understanding and acknowledging other’s viewpoints, making appropriate compromises, staying sensitive to societal changes, anticipating various impacts that social conflicts might cause, and recognizing the limitations of knowledge. This indeed is wisdom conferred by time. Therefore, the study suggests that assigning older individuals to key social roles involving legal decision-making, consulting, and group negotiations is very feasible. Have you perhaps found a new career direction after reading this?
5. Becoming Smarter in Certain Aspects
Does aging really make us slower and less sharp? From the perspective of fluid intelligence, which is a physiological-based cognitive ability like memory and processing speed that declines with age, it seems to be the case. However, on the flip side, crystallized intelligence, which refers to the ability to utilize experience and knowledge, like linguistic abilities and judgement, doesn’t decline with age, and might even grow. With time, our knowledge reserve increases and a wealth of life experiences enriches our minds. Young people often suffer due to a lack of experience, a deficit that decreases as we age.
Studies have found that the knowledge gained from a lifetime of decisions aids older individuals in making better decisions in many real-life situations (Worthy et al., 2008). For issues heavily reliant on experience for decision-making, older individuals’ advice can be more valuable. As the old saying goes, “He who does not heed the elderly will face losses right before his eyes.”
6. Unique Creativity
Director of the Hunter College Center on Aging, Moody, states that a decline in creativity often occurs because individuals’ potential is not tapped into — as they are stuck in mundane jobs or environments (Collins, 1981).
As we age, we will have time and energy that we never had before, and approaching mortality can urge us to be more genuine to ourselves, which in turn brings us profoundly different experiences and sparks inspiration. Psychiatrist Dr. Butler believes that older individuals’ creativity is realized through “reviewing life,” i.e., as you age, you can integrate past experiences to spark more creative thoughts (Collins, 1981).
Another study found that older individuals have a wider scope of attention (Commodari, 2008). Multiple studies indicate that highly creative individuals also have a broad attention span, not concentrating on just one point, which facilitates the storing of various types of information and combining them to generate novel ideas. It can be said that the attention pattern of older individuals has a higher likelihood of flashes of brilliance.
7. A More Wonderful Sexual Life
We seldom discuss the sexual life and needs of the elderly in daily conversations, causing many to mistakenly think that the term “sex” is exclusive to the younger generation, and easily leading to the misconception that older individuals lose interest in sex or become “incapable” as they age.
However, one of the least expected benefits of aging is — a more wonderful and satisfying sexual life. A survey conducted by the National Council on Aging in the United States targeting individuals over 60 (1998) found that compared to their 40s, 74% of men and 70% of women reported higher sexual satisfaction. Relationship therapist Tara Saglio attributes this to lesser insecurities in older women. “Older women are more confident in expressing their sexual preferences, and it’s this confidence that makes sexual life better.”
Additionally, research shows that women in their 40s and 50s are more likely to achieve orgasm during sex than women in their 20s and 30s, possibly due to a longer time spent with partners, leading to better understanding and respect for each other’s preferences (Shah, 2015). Who says there’s no opportunity for pleasure as one ages? At least in terms of sexual life, middle-aged and older individuals might find their joy richer compared to the youth.
8. No Longer Trapped by Others’ Judgements, Knowing Oneself Better
In our youth, we tend to seek validation from others to define ourselves; negation and criticism from others can easily lead us to doubt ourselves since we may not yet fully understand who we are. It’s largely due to our unclear self-perception that we, the young, tend to base our self-worth on others’ approval.
Karl Pillemer from Cornell University believes that compared to younger individuals, older ones possess richer life experiences like having lived through wars, illnesses, and various dramatic life events. Under the accumulation of these experiences, older individuals can better comprehend what they have been through and what time has turned them into.
With a clearer understanding of who we are, we are less obsessed with how others view us, and less likely to be troubled by others’ opinions (Peck, 1968). In other words, growing older transitions our self-perception from a fluctuating state to a stable one, becoming less easily affected by others.
Having read this far, have your fears and concerns about aging diminished a bit? We’re not trying to convince you that aging is a good thing, but just to remind you that the process of aging can be a beautiful journey. After all, another name for it is “growing up.”
References
Chopik, W. J., Edelstein, R. S., & Grimm, K. J. (2019). Longitudinal changes in attachment orientation over a 59-year period. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 116(4), 598-611.
Commodari, E., & Guarnera, M. (2008). Attention and aging. Aging Clinical and Experimental Research, 20(6), 578-584.
