Dr. John Sinderer, a medical doctor, highlights in his book “The Emotional Revolution” that: “76% of common illnesses in life are caused by negative emotions. Emotional sickness is scarier than physical sickness.”
In life, we inevitably face various pressures, and it’s natural to lose control of our emotions at times. However, if we let negative emotions dominate us, we are the ones who end up paying the price. Learning to manage our emotions is a vital lesson for every adult. Here are 10 methods to share with you all.
Master Your Emotions with These 10 Tips
1. Cultivate Interests to Shift Your Focus
Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, the father of “flow,” says:
“Attaining high-quality leisure is simple; just find a long-term hobby.”
The fast pace of life keeps us constantly on edge, and monotony makes our days dull and boring. Developing hobbies not only adjusts the rhythm of life and rescues you from a tense atmosphere but also injects fresh vitality into your life, nourishing both your emotions and spirit.
Reading a good book gives you the mindset of a wise person.
Practicing sports rewards you with a strong physique.
Learning to cook offers endless fun.
The greatest self-discipline for adults is to enrich and enliven our lives.
Positive hobbies enhance our lives, subtly increase our charm, add value to ourselves, and become a secret weapon to pull us out of difficult situations.
Life should not just be about making ends meet; it should be filled with passion and hope.
Having something you love is like adding lubricant to life, creating a sustainable positive cycle.
2. Spend Time Alone to Calm Your Emotions
Why do we feel pain?
It’s because the noise from the outside world overwhelms us, and our inner peace is disturbed.
Schopenhauer said:
“A person can only truly be himself when he is alone.”
When we are relaxed in body and mind, we are most rational and clear-headed, able to counteract mental exhaustion and relieve our anxiety and troubles.
Spending time alone enhances our focus and thinking ability, allows us to deeply examine ourselves, and enjoy the freedom of our mental world.
It also means planning our future life and achieving self-realization in solitude.
When feeling down, try the “Five-Minute Emotional Management Method”:
Find a secluded place, release your negative emotions, determine if the situation is fixed, accept reality, make decisions, and gradually calm yourself down.
Even a five-minute emotional break can quickly stabilize your mood.
Enjoy your alone time, converse with your inner self, and soothe your restless thoughts. Let the gentle breeze blow, and remain undisturbed.
3. Spend Money on Shopping to Boost Happiness
Many people think earning money best reflects a person’s value.
In reality, money itself doesn’t create happiness; it’s how we spend it that matters.
Spending money is not just a simple expense; it represents our love for life.
A joint study by Columbia University and Harvard Business School proves that spending money can increase happiness.
Obtaining items we like triggers the release of dopamine in our brains, creating a strong sense of satisfaction and dispelling unhappiness.
Shopping can either add to your joy, stimulate your brain, or broaden your horizons.
It always enhances our sense of worthiness, and the higher this feeling, the more confident we become, strengthening our foundation in life and our resolve to overcome setbacks.
Money, like a friend, solves our troubles and creates happiness. Make sure to spend it wisely.
Learning to please ourselves and understand the true meaning of earning money makes us truly deserving of our efforts.”
4. Seek Friends and Share Your Feelings
Have you ever felt this way: when you’re with positive people, your anxious state of mind starts to become more optimistic and calm? And after sharing your worries with a friend, your suppressed emotions suddenly find relief? Don’t bear everything on your own. Being around positive people can enhance your mood.
The writer Shi Tiesheng, when he was in his 20s, became disabled due to a lumbar leg disease and spent most of his time in a state of depression. It wasn’t until a friend, Liu Qing, sincerely suggested he start writing that he began to lift himself out of his dark state. Shi Tiesheng would share his feelings with Liu Qing, who always provided positive feedback, reigniting hope in his life time and time again.
Emotions between people can be contagious. The people around you subtly influence your mental state. Positive people are like the sun, bringing light and warmth, illuminating the darkness in your heart. Being in contact with positive people can enhance mutual feelings, alleviate negative emotions, and find solutions to problems.
5. Step Outside and Enjoy the Sunlight
A study in The Lancet medical journal shows that sunlight exposure can increase the turnover rate of serotonin in the brain, and serotonin brings happiness. Adding an hour of outdoor activity during the day can reduce the risk of severe depression.
As Hans Christian Andersen said, “Just living is not enough… one must have sunshine, freedom, and a little flower.” If you are feeling tired or exhausted, why not temporarily leave your burdens behind and take a walk outside? Find a quiet place, close your eyes, bathe in the sun, and empty your mind, as if the whole world has become silent. Or listen to music, meditate for ten minutes – it’s more refreshing than an hour of sleep. The sunshine warms your body and heart, instantly melting away all troubles and sadness, leaving you rejuvenated.
When facing hardships, keep your heart towards the sunshine, and that is the greatest practice in life. Give yourself some time to adjust and relax, let the impurities in your heart blow away with the wind, and return everything to its pure and beautiful state.
6. Keep Running, Heal Yourself
I came across a question: “What is it like to run regularly?” The top answer was: “My reactions are quicker, I hardly catch colds anymore, I understand my body better, and I feel a stronger sense of control over my life.” After a run, you feel energetic, your efficiency is incredibly high, your mind is sharper, and your resilience significantly increases.
Cao Lin, a physics professor, was diagnosed with high blood pressure, depression, and other diseases as he approached 40. He had lost interest in everything, including life itself. Miraculously, after he started running regularly, his blood sugar and blood pressure were controlled, and his depression gradually disappeared. When running, the body releases endorphins, known as the pleasure hormone, which can relieve pain and combat depression.
Running not only gives you a strong body but also heals your spirit. When you are thoroughly enjoying your run, all the bad emotions evaporate with your sweat. You become more composed and open, and your sense of control over life strengthens.
7. Get a Good Night’s Sleep and Recharge Your Energy
Some people are always on the go during the day, struggling to release the pressure, and try to regain their freedom by staying up late at night; others have poor sleep quality and often suffer from insomnia, still feeling exhausted even after a whole night’s rest. After a whole day of functioning, our body, like a machine, needs timely energy replenishment. If we don’t get enough rest, we can become more irritable and tend to be passive. A good sleep is like recharging your body’s battery.
Nick, the author of “The Sleep Revolution,” believes: “Sleep should be seen as a skill. A truly strong person actively controls their life pace, enhances their ‘sleep quotient’, and always faces work and life with a positive state.” Comfortable sleep is a panacea and the most cost-effective way of maintaining health. It gently cares for us, providing a comprehensive and deep recovery for our body and cleansing our mind of all impurities. If you don’t know what to do, just take a nap. Clear your mind of all clutter before bed, stay away from electronic devices, and create a comfortable environment. When you wake up, life is bright and clear again.
8. Try Writing Down What Makes You Angry
Give free writing a shot: jot down what makes you angry. There’s certainly a reason behind our anger.
What’s making us unhappy?
What’s causing our emotional turmoil?
When you write it all down, you’ll realize that being angry is quite pointless. You’ll come to understand a saying: getting angry is just punishing yourself for someone else’s mistakes. I wholeheartedly agree with this statement: if you are right, there’s no need to lose your temper; if you are wrong, you don’t have the right to be angry.
9. Cognitive Restructuring
When it comes to emotions, a very useful method I find is the ABC theory of emotions. ‘A’ stands for activating event, ‘B’ for belief, and ‘C’ for consequential emotion. Emotions are born from our interpretation of external events, which in turn are influenced by our experiences, knowledge, and beliefs. Different people have different emotions about the same thing because they interpret it differently.
Take the fable of an old lady with two daughters; one sells umbrellas, the other runs a laundry shop. She used to worry all the time, fretting about umbrella sales on sunny days and about clothes drying on rainy days. But when she changed her perspective, she was happy every day: laundry dried well in the sun, and umbrella sales went up when it rained. When we change our beliefs, we can control our emotions. So, we should consciously train and adjust our beliefs.
When negative emotions arise, first ask yourself, what’s the external event? How am I interpreting it? Can I interpret it differently? Practice this every time emotions hit, and gradually, your beliefs will change, and emotions will no longer control you. Take it slow, and apply it gradually.
10. Read Books
Make time to read books regularly. Reading cultivates the mind, making it calmer and more stable, no longer impatient. When your mind is sufficiently calm, you won’t let trivial matters affect your mood.
In Summary
The book “Emotional Agility” states: “Emotion is nothing more than a reaction to our surroundings. What we see in our environment dictates how we feel.” Emotions are the barometer of our inner state; you cannot ignore them, but there’s no need to fear them either. It’s the joy, anger, sorrow, and happiness that make life incredibly colorful. A person’s true strength lies not in being invulnerable or omnipotent, but in being adept at managing their own emotions. When you break free from the shackles of negative emotions and confidently pursue meaningful people and things, you will be able to break through the layers of life’s pressures, and your life will turn around from there.
