Educational psychology research has shown that in various forms of interaction, listening takes up 45%, speaking 30%, reading 16%, and writing 6%. It appears that a person’s listening skills directly impact their social abilities.
So, how can we improve our listening skills? Here are 10 tips for you.
What is “Listening”?
First, let’s define “listening”.
Listening is the process of making sense of sounds, a psychological procedure, and it’s also an extraction process.
It’s common for patients with hearing loss to experience a phenomenon when they first start wearing hearing aids. The device is functioning correctly, but they can hear sounds without being able to understand them clearly. The main reason is that prolonged hearing decline results in fewer sounds being perceived by the inner ear and less information being transmitted to the brain’s speech center by the auditory nerve. Over time, the brain’s speech center becomes dormant, leading to a gradual decrease in speech recognition abilities. It is not possible to immediately return to normal auditory functions after starting to wear a hearing aid; in other words, you won’t be able to understand everything right away.
Communication between humans and the external world mainly relies on hearing, sight, touch, smell, and taste. Among these, sight narrows the distance between people and objects, while hearing narrows the distance between people. If we cannot hear, interpersonal communication decreases, gradually leading to isolation, introversion, low self-esteem, stubbornness, irritability, and suspicion, resulting in varying degrees of psychological issues. This shows that hearing is the first part of listening abilities.
The auditory system is a sensory system for collecting, transmitting, perceiving, analyzing, and processing sounds, and it is divided into two main parts: the peripheral part and the central part.
The peripheral part includes the outer ear, middle ear, inner ear, and auditory nerve, responsible for perceiving (hearing) sounds. A normal human ear can perceive sounds ranging from 20Hz to 20,000Hz, with an intensity of 25dBHL or less.
The central part refers to all auditory structures above the auditory nerve, including the cochlear nucleus, superior olivary complex, lateral lemniscus, inferior colliculus, medial geniculate body, and auditory cortex, responsible for analyzing and processing (understanding) the sounds perceived by the peripheral part.
The human auditory system has three levels: hearing, listening clearly, and understanding.
Hearing is accomplished by the peripheral part and is an instinct of the human body; while listening clearly and understanding involve participation by the central part, they are abilities, representing more advanced functions of hearing. The ear’s function is merely to perceive sounds, or hearing, and then the auditory nerve—the eighth pair of cranial nerves—transmits these sounds to the auditory center in the brain. The auditory center analyzes and processes the sounds, accomplishing listening clearly and understanding.
Every person’s way of expression and content of communication is influenced by their way of thinking, habits, cultural background, knowledge structure, experience, etc., which cannot be forced upon. So the second part of listening abilities is listening completely. You need to give the speaker time to express themselves, or you might need to actively complete the conversation. Just because your ears can hear doesn’t mean you have the ability to listen and understand. Hearing and listening completely are two different things; many times, in a conversation, we rely on our own experience and prematurely guess what the other person wants to express, not giving them a chance to finish.
Now, we know that hearing and listening completely are two very important components of listening, but this is certainly not all there is to listening.
In an IELTS exam, faced with a listening question, you may hold your breath and focus, but the answer doesn’t come, and the next question has already started…
Is it because the volume is too low?
When doing multiple-choice questions, after listening, do you feel like the recording is wrong?
Do you have a lot of question marks? In fact, in these situations, it’s not necessarily that you didn’t listen clearly/understand.
Students who have taken the IELTS test know that the words, phrases, and sentences in the listening test can change at any time. This is what we often refer to as paraphrasing in IELTS listening. In other words, many times in life, even if we hear something, we may not truly understand it.
So what does it mean to truly understand?
Listening is a comprehensive skill. It requires not just our ears and eyes, but also our brains and hearts to respond to the other person’s expression, telling them, “I heard you, and I understand the message you want to convey.”
This requires us to concentrate our attention while listening, fix our eyes on the speaker as if we are eager for them to tell us some significant news; when the other person makes eye contact with us, we should nod appropriately or make feedback sounds like “oh” or “uh-huh” to show our interest in what they are saying. This encourages the speaker to continue and is a part of what we call “responsive listening”.
Top 10 Tips to Improve Listening Skills
1. Eliminate External and Internal Distractions
External and internal distractions are major barriers to effective listening. Therefore, the primary method to enhance listening skills is to eliminate these distractions as much as possible. It is crucial to focus entirely on the speaker in order to grasp their body language, understand what they are saying, what they are not saying, as well as the feelings and meanings represented by their words.
2. Encourage the Other Person to Speak First
Listening to others is a form of courtesy, showing that we are willing to objectively consider their viewpoints. This makes the speaker feel respected and contributes to building a harmonious relationship and mutual acceptance. Encouraging the other person to speak first can reduce the competitive tone in a conversation. Our attentive listening fosters an open atmosphere, facilitating the exchange of ideas. Without the pressure of competition, the speaker can focus on the main points and doesn’t have to rush to defend any contradictions in their statements. When the other person shares their views first, it gives you the opportunity to find common ground before expressing your own opinion. Listening makes the other person more receptive to your ideas, making it easier to persuade them when it’s your turn to speak.
3. Use and Observe Body Language
Even before we start speaking in a conversation, our inner feelings are clearly expressed through our body language. If the listener has a closed or indifferent attitude, the speaker will naturally become self-conscious and less willing to open up. On the other hand, if the listener is open and interested, it shows their willingness to accept the speaker and their eagerness to understand the speaker’s thoughts, encouraging the speaker. This body language includes: a natural smile, not crossing your arms, keeping your hands away from your face, slightly leaning forward, maintaining eye contact, and nodding.
4. Avoid Interrupting Others Unnecessarily
A good listener does not interrupt just to emphasize minor details, correct insignificant parts of the other person’s speech, change the topic abruptly, or finish an incomplete sentence. Frequent interruptions indicate poor listening skills, an aggressive personality, lack of politeness, and difficulty in communicating. While interrupting is generally considered rude, the “ping-pong effect” is an exception. This refers to the listener actively asking relevant questions or sharing thoughts and feelings in response to the speaker’s words. Additionally, if you miss something or do not understand, it is important to quickly ask for clarification when the speaker takes a pause.
5. Pay Attention to Key Words
Key words are specific terms that depict factual information, revealing messages as well as the speaker’s interests and emotions. By paying attention to key words, we can identify the speaker’s preferred topics and gauge their level of trust in us. Additionally, identifying key words in the speaker’s statements can guide us on how to respond effectively. Incorporating these key words into our questions or comments shows the speaker that we are genuinely interested and care about what they are saying.
6. Reflective Listening
Reflective listening involves repeating back what we have just heard, showcasing a vital communication skill. Our responses let the speaker know that we are actively listening and comprehending their message. However, reflective listening doesn’t mean parroting back their exact words; rather, it means summarizing the main points in our own words. For example, “So, you live in a house by the sea? I bet the sunsets there are stunning.” The benefit of reflective listening is that it makes the speaker feel valued, helps us grasp their main points, and keeps the conversation flowing.
7. Clarify Ambiguous Messages
Many people may hesitate to express their true thoughts and feelings directly, often using indirect statements or questions to hint at their internal views and emotions. However, these implicit messages can hinder communication, as they might be misunderstood by an inattentive listener, potentially leading to miscommunication or verbal conflict. Therefore, when faced with strongly implied messages, we should encourage the speaker to clarify and elaborate on their statements.
8. Identify and Focus on the Main Points
While discussing the details of a topic can be interesting, it is crucial to identify the main points in the speaker’s message and concentrate on them. This approach helps us to understand the entire issue from the speaker’s perspective. By not getting lost in minor details, we avoid missing the central message or making incorrect assumptions, saving valuable time and preventing misunderstandings.
9. Silently Recap, Organize Key Points, and Formulate Your Own Conclusions
During a conversation, we usually have a few seconds to silently recap the speaker’s words, identify the key points, and discard irrelevant details. Concentrating on the speaker’s main message and ideas is essential. This silent recap and organization of key points also aid in formulating further questions. By pointing out areas where the speaker may have been unclear or incomplete, we show that we have been attentively listening and are making an effort to fully understand their message. If we are uncertain about which points or ideas the speaker values most, we can use questions to show our attention and interest in the conversation.
10. Accept the Speaker’s Perspective
Being open to the speaker’s point of view is crucial; failing to do so may result in missed opportunities and hinder the development of a harmonious relationship. Even if the speaker’s opinions, feelings, or conclusions differ from our own, they have the right to maintain their stance. Respecting their viewpoint shows that we are listening and understanding their message, even if we do not necessarily agree. An inability to accept differing opinions can impede mutual acceptance and the building of a positive relationship. Furthermore, respecting the speaker’s perspective can help bolster their confidence, making them more receptive to alternate viewpoints.
