In 1936, a novel by a female writer shattered publishing records in the United States, astonishing the world.
The writer was Margaret Mitchell, whose brief life ended in a car accident ten years later.
However, her novel continued to carry her spirit across nearly a century, captivating countless readers to this day.
The book is none other than the renowned “Gone with the Wind,” also known as “The Romantic Saga in a Turbulent Era.”
Be it the naive first love during youth or the maturity after witnessing life’s myriad forms, the daring and passionate protagonist, Scarlett, poured her all into every relationship she fostered.
At 28, Scarlett, with her vast life experiences, showcased a wealth of emotional wisdom to readers.
No wonder some say that initially, they perceived “Gone with the Wind” as merely a story but concluded it to be a textbook on marriage upon completion.
1. Mutual Commitment is the Prelude to Love
Scarlett, a farmer’s daughter, grew up basking in the love and adoration of her family.
She was free-spirited and a bit haughty due to her natural beauty.
Local young men were smitten and vied for her favor, but Scarlett’s heart was already pledged to her neighbor Ashley, a handsome, refined gentleman.
The romance between an exquisite lady and a distinguished gentleman was supposed to be the epitome of first love.
However, unlike the men in the farm concerned solely with mundane chores, Ashley worried about the collapse of civilization and social decay.
Scarlett, though brave and free-spirited, was shallow in thought at the time, a contrast to the scholarly Ashley, making deep emotional and intellectual connection difficult.
So when she humbled herself to propose to Ashley, she was rejected outright in front of others.
Love isn’t a matter of effort guaranteeing results.
If mutual affection exists, even distances can’t hinder a union; but unreciprocated love, even in proximity, won’t blossom.
Scarlett could only watch as the man she adored wed another, leaving her heartbroken and humiliated.
It’s a common scenario in real life:
Some obsess over love to the extent of public confessions or threatening actions despite knowing the lack of affection from the other party.
Denying the reality, they create illusions through futile efforts, deceiving themselves into thinking that enough pain might win them love.
Little do they know, love is a two-way street requiring collaborative effort.
If a union is solely nurtured by one, it’s like fertilizing a dead tree—fruitless.
Love is a cooperative venture, not a solo quest.
If someone’s affection isn’t directed towards you, they are not the one you seek.
2. Mental Harmony is the Bedrock of a Happy Marriage
The French novelist Balzac once said, “A happy marriage is the result of a heart and soul union between a couple.”
Post-war, Scarlett’s Tara plantation faced financial ruin, and she desperately needed funds to retain ownership.
With no other options, she married her brother-in-law Frank, who helped her through the financial crisis.
Once stable, Scarlett yearned for more and aimed to carve her niche in the business world.
However, Frank desired a homely wife, not a business enthusiast.
Scarlett covertly acquired a sawmill and embarked on her entrepreneurial journey without her husband’s support.
With Frank’s disapproval, she faced challenges alone, promoting her products door-to-door, capitalizing on post-war reconstruction to build her empire.
Consequently, tensions with Frank reached a boiling point.
Despite being pregnant, Scarlett was unyielding, continuing her endeavors.
Frank was furious and demanded she abandon her business for homebound maternity.
The enduring divergence in life views deepened their rift until their marriage merely existed in name, with their hearts drifting apart.
A lasting marriage thrives on mutual support and concerted effort.
If core values clash, endless disputes drain the family’s energy and affection.
Your spouse becomes your foe, and home turns into a battlefield.
All vigor and wit are spent defeating the person you spend every day with; how could one then seek true happiness?
Thus, marriages devoid of warmth and peace are left with bitter quarrels and cold indifference, making tolerance unbearable and avoidance desirable.
The Secret to Emotional Rejuvenation Lies in Self-Strength
As Frank and Scarlett drifted apart, Frank secretly joined the KKK and met his demise in one of their operations. The sudden loss of her husband, however, did not rattle Scarlett. By this time, she had taken over the struggling shops that were mishandled by Frank, who lacked business acumen, and steered them back to profitability. Relying on her bold and fiery personality, Scarlett flourished in the business world. The sawmill she founded thrived, even garnering covert support from the northern government. After achieving a modicum of success, Scarlett now had the confidence to choose her life partner. She married Rhett, who had silently protected her all these years.
Rhett had known Scarlett for a long time, and had been there through all her ups and downs. He understood her feelings for Ashley and witnessed her building her enterprise from scratch. His lifelong silent protection finally culminated in marriage, which elated Rhett. Scarlett, now enriched with life experiences, awed him even more. However, after marrying the wealthy Rhett, Scarlett didn’t settle for a life of luxury. Instead, she leveraged Rhett’s extensive resources and connections to expand her network, gaining more customers and boosting her business.
Rhett realized that the strong, brave, and decisive woman in front of him had long evolved from the young girl who impulsively expressed love, and then sank into despondence when love was not reciprocated. Scarlett’s years of striving in the business realm endowed her with a unique charm emanated from her strong and independent persona, which deeply captivated Rhett.
As Beauvoir once said, “One day, a woman may use her ‘strength’ to love, instead of her ‘weakness’. Not evading herself, but perfecting herself, not sacrificing herself, but affirming herself. Then, love for her and her love would become a source of life, not a deadly risk.” Scarlett used her “strength” to love, allowing her to love confidently and passionately. Even when Rhett left angrily towards the end of the story, Scarlett was still able to proudly say, “Tomorrow, I will find a way to win him back!” The strength within bestowed Scarlett with the confidence to mend happiness and brought resilience and vitality to her marriage with Rhett.
A satisfying emotional relationship cannot be built upon a frail soul; only with a strong self can one dictate the course of their reality, and reject an undesired life. Hence, the secret for women to attain happiness lies within themselves, not others. Independence and self-improvement are the fountains from which new life in emotional realms springs.
In Conclusion
Towards the end of the story, the author leaves the eventual fate of Scarlett and Rhett open-ended. Perhaps such an ending suits the evolved Scarlett. Life does not have standardized answers, and if Rhett is not the one accompanying her till old age, there’s no regret. After all, what Scarlett pursues is happiness, not a specific individual. More importantly, step by step, Scarlett has amassed both spiritual and material wealth, making her fully capable of embracing an open-ended life narrative. Through her three marriages, Scarlett has spurred countless readers over nearly a century to reflect and ponder on marital life.
However, marital wisdom is not the entirety of life’s experience. Instead of contemplating the ultimate outcome, it’s better to actively engage in one’s life journey, exploring the unknown happiness that lies within.
