Tara Westover was once trapped by her destiny. Growing up in a secluded mountainous region of Idaho, she never stepped inside a classroom until she was 17. Yet, within a decade, she transformed into a PhD student at Cambridge University, becoming an envied scholar. Her memoir, “Educated,” quickly became a sensation, hitting The New York Times bestseller list and selling over a million copies in the U.S. Bill Gates even described it as, “An astonishing and truly inspiring story that’s even better than you’ve heard.”
This book sheds light on why some remain trapped in life’s lower rungs, unable to break free, while others, despite immense pain and challenges, can reshape their destinies.
1. The Bonds of Ignorance
Born at the foot of Buck Peak in Idaho, Tara’s isolated world was cut off from modern society. Growing up in a strict Mormon household with five brothers and a sister, their life resembled that of “wildlings”, scavenging in their father’s junkyard. Tara’s father denounced anything modern as the devil’s work. From discarding all dairy products because the Bible deemed them “sinful”, to refusing medical assistance, leading to Tara and her siblings not even having birth certificates. Tara’s mother, once an educated pharmacist, was submissive to her husband’s beliefs.
As renowned family therapist Satir once said, “Our ties to our families can greatly influence our lives.” Tara’s childhood memories consist of rusty metals and dangerous machinery. After a serious injury, her father’s cold reaction and mother’s ineffective “muscle therapy” further showcased their distorted worldview.
It wasn’t until her brother Tyler encouraged her to pursue higher education that Tara got the chance to break away. Stepping into university, she realized many of her parental teachings were not just incorrect but outrageous. Her first mission at university? Transform from an “outsider” into someone who fit in. Tara understood that only by shedding past misconceptions and embracing a new worldview could she truly control her destiny.
There’s a saying online: “We can’t change the direction of the wind, but we can adjust our sails.” No one chooses their birth or parents. But the power to redefine ourselves always lies within. By attending university, Tara didn’t just gain academic knowledge; she unshackled herself from her parents’ misguided beliefs. No longer a “wildling”, she emerged as an empowered modern woman, marking her true rebirth.
2. Breaking Through the Mentality of Resignation
Until she was 17, Tara was confined to her father’s junkyard. She always thought she would follow in her mother’s footsteps: marry young, have children, and become a midwife, just like her mother. However, her brother Taylor told her, “If you get into college, you can leave Buck’s Peak and see a world beyond your own.”
Tara was not willing to let her family determine her destiny. She buried herself in books in a dimly lit basement and, through sheer determination, managed to score impressively, which got her admitted to Brigham Young University. With this, Tara opened the door to a new world but also realized the vast gap between her and this unfamiliar territory.
At the start of the term, she struggled to keep up in class. Unsure of which book was the textbook and too shy to interact with her classmates, her self-doubt made her constantly uneasy. Midterm exams came, and she failed all her subjects. A professor warned her that if her grades didn’t improve by the end of the term, she’d be asked to leave.
Facing this challenge, Tara made a rigorous study plan. She studied until the early hours every day, resting only when utterly exhausted. She overcame her insecurity by asking peers and professors questions and didn’t let any ridicule deter her. She practiced her pronunciation and worked hard to integrate herself. Every detail in her studies mattered to her, and she would dwell on it until she fully understood. By the end of the term, Tara scored nearly perfect marks and was even awarded a scholarship to study at Cambridge.
Her refusal to accept mediocrity became the potent tool in her life’s turnaround. As Carnegie once said, “The path today might be muddy, or you might be hurt with thorns, even find yourself in a swamp. But if you bravely move forward, your life will shine brighter having been tested.” If Tara had accepted her lot and believed she was destined to mirror her parents’ lives, she would never have left that junkyard.
True maturity comes from recognizing our parents’ limitations, breaking free from destiny, and finding our unique path. While many aspects of our lives, like upbringing or intelligence, might be pre-determined, much can be changed through personal effort. Crafting a new self comes with its share of pain and tears, but with steadfast belief, it’s achievable. Refusing to settle is the best attitude when facing challenges, and it’s the ultimate comeback to fate. Those who dare to defy their destiny, who dare to strive, often lead the most extraordinary lives.
3. Facing Vanity and Embracing Authenticity
After obtaining the opportunity to study at Cambridge University, Tara went on to earn her master’s and eventually her doctorate. Her triumphant journey caught the media’s attention, and soon newspapers and radio stations were eager to feature her story. Tara quickly rose to a sort of scholarly fame.
Surrounded by admirers, new friends, confidants, and a boyfriend, Tara carefully hid her past. She portrayed herself as a girl brought up in a loving, traditional household, rather than reveal the rough truths of her upbringing. The scars of her past, especially those caused by her father, lingered heavy in her heart.
One day, a grave accident nearly took her father’s life. Returning home, Tara witnessed her mother painstakingly tending to his charred injuries. The sight of her once forceful and domineering father in such a frail state softened Tara’s heart, prompting her to reconnect and reconcile with her family. Through deep conversations with her siblings, she began to remember and cherish the warmth and affection they had shared.
This reconnection mended Tara’s wounds. She no longer felt the need to hide or be ashamed of her past. With newfound courage, she shared her story with classmates, talked openly about her upbringing in a junkyard, and the insecurities it had instilled in her. She even introduced her boyfriend to her family, proudly showing him her roots.
By letting go of pretenses and embracing her true self, Tara found redemption and peace. Her father too evolved, becoming more open-minded and accepting of Tara’s transformations and the outside world. The family grew closer.
Facing the media, Tara poignantly stated, “I belong to that mountain; it has shaped me.” This was her genuine reconciliation with her destiny. Though fame tempted her to erase the imprints of her humble beginnings, it was only when she bravely shared her family’s story with the world that she found true healing.
True strength isn’t about gritting your teeth and pushing through; it’s about forgiving oneself and finding reconciliation.
Conclusion
The phrase “Flee as a bird to your mountain” originates from the Bible. The essence is to break away from painful pasts and seek refuge in one’s ideal sanctuary. Personal growth always involves wrestling with pain, evolving, and ultimately transforming. It’s not one’s status that confines them, but their mindset, awareness, and character. To truly rise above circumstances:
- Break free from barriers of ignorance and develop a well-rounded perspective.
- Shed the mentality of passivity and aim to carve out a remarkable life.
- Let go of superficial vanity and reconcile with your past.
May we all soar towards our mountains, shaping luminous lives despite the odds.
